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Captivity

by Carson Miller

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1.
Intro/Runway 04:25
Biting my fingernails They fall down on the floor I start to bleed The engine fails Picking the carrion off the bone To fit in overhead When you’re asleep Your room exhales Scratches and faded jeans They shake and rattle, sore Forget to breathe And where I’m from Circles of air around your hair A stale and gentle calm The engine heaves The engine’s on This evil seems feeble and strange A weight that I can’t wait to exchange But the fear inside won’t let me go From the echos of ‘I told you so’ Some people want people to stay But freedom needs freedom to change So I’ll chase my home out on the road And if I change my mind you’ll be the first to know
2.
Your heart moves in a way I can’t catch Slipping through all the holes in my net Turned around now and losing my breath Rattles blue with each heave of my chest But I can get you back Oh I can get you back Tried to wash all the dirt from my fists Til you planted your roots in my wrist Built our love on the marks that we missed Felt the warmth in the blood on your lips But now it’s turning black Oh now it’s turning black Through the walls echo words of distress Can’t erase what we cannot forget Bend and break but we never regret Rush to reach you ‘fore you reach the edge But I can see the splash Oh I can see the splash Oh I can see the splash Oh I can see the splash
3.
August 03:16
The heat it hangs like death and clothes It’s on my back and in my nose Reminds me when we used to sleep With open eyes on top of sheets And August rolls with roaring clouds That come to meet me in my house With rain that pecks upon my cheek Then pours til I can barely speak My shoulders hang like skin an bones And point ahead like traffic cones And scream with every step I take I dream with every step I take Of June and March and frozen trees That shake and stir with twisted knees The sun is high, it’s taunting me It’s taunting me, it’s taunting me The pavement pulses in my toes And pulls me in the undertow Through heavy nights and shallow sleep To water’s edge that I can’t see And August cuts with slanted steel What’s cauterized but cannot heal The blade is sharp and pokes me through The point is just a point of view
4.
10 Feet Tall 04:04
Put me on your shoulders so I can see So high that I can’t breathe Drop me at the party, set me free That’s enough of you for me That’s enough of you for me Water feels like razors on my teeth So sharp that I can’t speak And stop me if you can, if you please I have not slept in weeks I have not slept in weeks But I really can’t Pick up and call Cuz I know you hate To think about it all Moonlight casts shadows in the street One place where two can meet Racing down the sidewalk, burning feet I swear I saw you leave I swear I saw you leave But I really can’t Feel out the fall Cuz you always seemed 10 feet tall 10 feet tall 10 feet tall 10 feet tall
5.
Tuesday 02:51
What did you say What did you say On a Tuesday in efforts to fuck up my week Spilling loose change And a few things In and out of my head and back into the street Well I was just hoping that we could go home Forget this whole mess til we come back around here next week But for now we’ll just stay and keep playing these games Forget our own names when the burn in my throat gets too sweet What did you say What did you say On a Tuesday in efforts to fuck up my week Spilling loose change And a few things In and out of my head and back into the street
6.
All the voices in my head Hoping for a better place But I can’t change No I can’t change My favorite people end up dead The rest have all just gone away Cuz I can’t change No I can’t change I’ll see you on the other side I’ll see you on the other side Cuz I can’t change No I can’t change Each day I wake up in my bed Pulling on the same old thread Oh ain’t it strange Oh ain’t it strange 8 years since I could look ahead To all the walls I thought I’d break But they remain Oh they remain They said it gets easier Oh when does it get easier It’s still the same It’s still the same But I can’t change No I can’t change No I can’t change I can’t change
7.
The Hunt 05:15
The day’s coming Like rolling thunder We hate wanting To love each other My bag’s bursting With words we buried So say something That I can carry Cuz I’ve been living And I’ve been sleeping wrong Cuz you keep hunting What I’ve been running from I came to see you Last September The bed’s smaller Than I remember Your eyes were shaking When you told me “You can’t stay here But first just hold me Cuz I’ve been living And I’ve been sleeping wrong Cuz I’ve been hunting My shadow all along” I ran into you Last December You said I’m taller Than you remember These cold winters Don’t sting much lately Since I found that Coat you gave me But I’ve been living And I’ve been sleeping wrong Cuz I keep wanting What I’ve been running from
8.
Look Away 01:20
You stay Standing in front of a train And I can’t do a damn thing And you say “It’s all gonna be ok” But I can’t look away No I can’t look away No I can’t look away
9.
True love will find you in the end You’ll find out just who was your friend But don’t be sad, I know you will But don’t give up until True love will find you in the end This is a promise with a catch Only if you’re looking can it find you Cuz true love is searching too But how can it recognize you Unless you step out into the light, the light But don’t be sad I know you will And don’t give up until True love will find you in the end

credits

released October 16, 2021

Recorded and Produced by Jason Dunkerley at Drowning Fish Studios in Philadelphia, PA

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Carson Miller Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Sad music but sometimes fun and sometimes loud but also slow but sometimes less slow and not always sad.

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